babies were throwing up all over the place
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize