You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This is classic penis vs brain.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize