Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
