Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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