Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It was confusing and full of hummus
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
