it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
