I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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