Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize