:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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