foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
