So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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