Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
