a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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