This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
