Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
soo... how was my night?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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