Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
