Your dad touched me again.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize