this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
