white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just invented taco cereal.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
