I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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