wrigley field is MILF paradise
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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