Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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