Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
