Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
