Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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