Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
