So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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