Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
