I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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