I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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