Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Two words: blizzard sex
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
