my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
