Jerry, you need to find god
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Do vagina's smell?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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