he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
