She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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