I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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