the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
