God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The beer is more important than you right now.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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