Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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