I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
