playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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