I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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