I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
