Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
