There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
