my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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