Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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