After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
