her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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