He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
