Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize