If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
