On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Vodka?
Forever.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
