He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
