I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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