When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
