Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
