So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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