he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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