I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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