we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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