there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
