That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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