Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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