We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
