Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
