so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Boobs are out for the taking
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Maybe he injected his testicle?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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