I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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