why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
