I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
