Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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